The office for National Statistics states that in 2016 alone 58,954 sexual assaults occurred. However police have recorded 23,851 assaults for the same year. Both of these figures are shocking, but what is even more shocking is the 31,103 assaults that went unnoticed and the offenders that went unpunished. Regarding sexual assault; one thing that is scarier than the figures themselves is the low number of people actually convicted of rape. Below is a shocking image that the Guardian shared last year of rape statistics. Out of all of the assaults that take place only 1,070 of the rapists and sex offenders actually get convicted. This is one of the many reasons more and more victims of sexual assault are choosing to keep these traumatic events to themselves.

                                              Image:The Guardian

Reporting sexual assault, however hard it may be, is something that many victims choose to do. There are many reasons why people should report the offences. One of the most common reasons why assaults are reported is justice .Many victims have admitted when the offenders are convicted in court they can then carry on with their daily life and feel a sense of relief. Reporting sexual assault also stops repeat offenders. If the offender is convicted they are taken off the streets and therefore away from the possibilty of harming another person. Although it is often a hard decision for the victim to make, it is encouraged so that the police can help punish the offender.

A significant number of people however choose to not report the assault and would rather deal with it on their own. Many women have said they feel ashamed after being raped or assaulted and many struggle with it by themselves through worry of being judged. When a victim is raped they feel embarrassed, therefore don’t want to share their experience with anyone else. One woman I spoke to said she even felt ‘dirty in her own skin’. Even though sexual abuse is recognised as wrong in society many victims feel pressured to keeping their assault to themselves at the risk that people will not understand.

Sexual assault is something that sadly many woman around the UK have experienced, myself being one of them. When I was assaulted it took me a while to admit to myself let alone anyone else what had happened. I was given the option of reporting it by the police, however I’m in my second year of university and was worried the court case would disrupt my life and studies. I turned instead to a charity group called the Haven. They respected my decision to not report the incident and helped me for months after to come to terms with it. Many things influenced my decision, the main one was the fear of going through the court case and my rapist not being convicted. Looking at these figures from The Guardian I had every right to be scared about reporting.

Many people I know and even some close friends have also experienced sexual assault. My friend who wishes to remain anonymous was only 18 when she was targeted by a group of rapists, whilst walking home after a night out. She has bravely agreed to let me share her story and the reasons why she eventually went through with reporting her attack. She took a total of 34 days to come to terms with what had happened to her until she finally reported her ordeal. She went through many personal reasons as to why she didn’t go to the police straight after the assault , one of the main reasons she stated was ‘It took me a long time to actually come to terms with what had happened to me’. My friend then went onto say ‘if I didn’t believe it had happened myself I was scared that no one else would’. This is one of the most common reasons that sexual assault doesn’t get reported, victims are scared people will judge them and not their assaulter. Unfortunately she took too long to report her attack, and police were unable to use forensic evidence to identify her rapists. This is one of the main factors in why some people choose to stay silent, it’s not always a happy ending for the victim.

Something that has also majorly influenced people when deciding how to report sexual assault, is the grey area surrounding sexual assault when the person is too drunk. If the person cannot stand up it is RAPE, if the person cannot speak or consent it is RAPE. However many women myself included have been made to feel guilty for putting themselves in a ‘vulnerable’ situation. Sexual assault is not a choice the victim made, however much alcohol they have consumed does not give anyone the right to take advantage of their body. Yet some of society still choose to victim shame and ask the victim why she got so drunk instead of asking the attacker why they chose to rape.

The TV programme Hollyoaks recently wrote a storyline directed around consent to sex when a person is too drunk. The character Ellie woke up and was told by a man that they had sex the night before. Ellie can’t remember any of it and therefore didn’t consent, she kept this a secret throughout the majority of the programme. When Ellie finally shares her ordeal with the people closest to her they use a theory called the ‘cup of tea analogy’. The analogy is based around a short video that explains that if someone is unconscious, tired, says no or changes their mind about drinking tea you shouldn’t force them to drink tea. The video then explains if it’s easy to think about tea like this then sex should not be any different. In the episode of Hollyoaks it helps Ellie to understand she is not to blame for what happened. It is educational and even 6 months on from my assault it has helped me to never feel ashamed of what happened that night.

Image: https://i.vimeocdn.com/video/517037205.jpg?mw=1920&mh=1080&q=70

Maya Angelou once quoted ‘I can be changed by what happens to me but I will not be reduced by it’ this applies hugely in sexual assault .Although sexual assault is something that stays with someone for the rest of their life, many victims are strong enough to bury the assault and not let it reduce them or their life. Many people will think that morally it may not be right to not report a sexual assault, but it may be the best choice for the individual. Reporting the incident can sometimes drag out the attack and bring back bad memories for the person who has been assaulted .Survivors of assault will choose to deal with it in different ways, one thing they shouldn’t do is deal with it by themselves, even if they choose not to report.

My mum has always told me ‘being happy is a very personal thing it has nothing to do with anyone else’. I have come to terms with what has happened to me and my decision to not report it, I can now move forward and be happy. There is no right or wrong when it comes to reporting sexual assault .It is a decision the survivor must make for themselves & their own happiness, it really has nothing to do with anyone else.