Last month the show I Kissed A Girl was finally released onto our screens. After years of Love Island, it was so refreshing to have a full cast of WLW. Set in Italy the ‘Masseria’ was our scene of love for the summer. We saw 10 single women enter the villa in the hope of finding meaningful connections and love. The show left such an effect on me that I wanted to do this little write up review on the new series. Showcasing how important representation is and how beautiful queer connections can be. Sapphic relationships shouldn’t be sexualised, they are real, deep, and so wonderful to watch.

Across nine episodes, we saw contestants eliminated as new ones arrived. With a similar format to Love Island IKAG had a twist in the recoupling area. To couple up with your partner you have to save your kiss for them, they in return must also save their kiss for you. I think this concept is great at keeping people in the show for love and love alone. However, it’s unfortunate that I feel some of the girls didn’t get to stay for as long to find new connections because of it. With shows like Love Island and Love is Blind, we get super long series, which helps you become invested in those being shown on screen. Despite IKAG being shorter I was wholly invested in each woman on the show. Next series it would be great if the show could be lengthened so that investment could be deepened. I also think it would be amazing to see some more representation from within the queer community e.g. non-binary people. For me, though, the first series is a great place to start, and I can’t wait to see it expand even more.

It’s no secret that the media has always been seriously lacking in LGBTQ+ representation. Queer women have lived in the shadows for so long not just on screen, but within society and in the history books. It is hard to put into words how amazing it is to have arrived at a moment in time where we are celebrating queer female relationships on screen. I have always felt that if there was more queer representation growing up, I would have started dating women first and not necessarily men. So knowing that there are young girls just like me who will grow up watching shows where women are so freely able to love each other, makes my heart smile. Being open with my sexuality has slowly healed that little girl inside me, the one who fancied girls in primary school wanted to kiss women on nights out and had so much love to give. I feel so proud to watch a show like IKAG, I hope it continues to bolster more conversation around LGBTQ+ people and their lives. For queer black women, queer Asian women, masc queer women and femme queer women to all see themselves represented on screen. It’s magic.

Queer love is beautiful, and there is so much beauty in loving women. I wish I could shout it from the rooftops. Lesbians, bisexual women, and pansexual women make the world go round, the whole of the sapphic community does. Within this community, there’s definitely a rawness of emotions, with a huge emphasis on connection and companionship. I know there are stereotypes that WLW relationships move super fast and fall hard, but I truly believe it’s because of how deeply women feel. You can see and feel it yourself when you are watching the show, it almost feels like you are in the show with them. They are all sharing experiences that feel so real and true to a lot of women within the community. To see raw conversations between the women on their sexuality and growing up as queer felt so authentic and wonderful to watch. A lovely conversation that stuck out to me was Georgia speaking on Lesbian women nursing and helping gay men during the HIV and Aids epidemic, which we saw in the show It’s A Sin. Whilst also touching on her own struggles with the word Lesbian and how it is something to be so proud of, was a really touching moment that you don’t normally see on reality TV. From showcasing diverse contestants, healthy communication and a real focus on finding love. The sapphic show was truly a breath of fresh air from the usual reality show format. 

Something I’ve been reflecting on since watching the show is how validating it is to decenter men from your life through dating and being with women. Stepping away from the male gaze and male validation, allowing yourself to just be for the first time. I started to see so many wonderful parts of myself flourishing in embracing my queerness. So much that it feels difficult to imagine how those parts of me would continue to manifest in a Heterosexual relationship. Since coming out I’ve found my attraction to men has dropped considerably, the emotional connection just feels less and interactions are sometimes really surface level. Although my heart is still open to love in all its forms and all the connections that exist in the world. It’s a hard and confusing feeling as you sense your sexuality shifting, but I believe we are put on this earth to express ourselves. So whatever feels right for you at the time is what you should lead with. Don’t be reduced by labels, allow yourself to experience and love freely.

Watching I Kissed A Girl over the last few weeks felt like one big hug. Women’s love is beyond beautiful, it really is unmatched. I feel so lucky to have experienced it in my life, through my family, friendships and relationships. To fall in love with a woman is like finally feeling understood for the first time. It feels like coming back to a warm home after being out in the cold all day. It’s safety, laughter and so much happiness. Being able to express myself in a WLW relationship has healed my inner child more than I can explain. It’s helped me to prioritise my needs and feel validated within a relationship. I hope I will experience it again in this lifetime. To know love is to change, oftentimes for the better and being open with my sexuality has changed my heart and mind in the best way. I’ll forever be grateful for that and to have felt what it’s like to truly love and be loved right back.

‘To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.’

Cover image by RSparkles – REDBUBBLE