2024 has been a year of so much turbulence and change. It’s also been a year where I’ve tried to put my best foot before the other and truly live. Be as fearless as possible, say yes and jump into things. Life is short and I’ve wanted to continue to experience all the beauty it offers. To find my happiness whilst enjoying this summer and the rest of the year. Although I’m learning that you can try to take on as much as possible, but if you’re not taking care of your mind/body in return they will cave in. 

From a relationship I loved so much ending, several serious family health diagnoses and debilitating Celiac flare-ups, the first part of the year all got a bit too heavy to carry. At the beginning of August I had a mental health breakdown, looking back it was one of the worst I’ve had. The type of breakdown where you almost have to remind your brain and body how to do everyday tasks afterwards. Gain your confidence back in rooms you flowed easily into before. Remind yourself why being alive is the biggest gift we are given. As a result of this breakdown I had to cancel plans, trips and some festivals I had planned. I felt so guilty and ashamed that my mind and body couldn’t keep up with what I wanted to do. It was one of the most frustrating mental health episodes I’ve ever had. I felt like I’d let people down like I was useless. I got so angry with myself and kept going over how I was getting better and I should be able to handle life better. I’m learning that we are all only human and we can only hold so much.

Taking a step back I have realised that my outlook over the last few months hasn’t been the best. I was falling back into the habit of feeling like if I could just get through these busy weeks I’ll be fine or I’ll just get through the next social event and be fine. I want to experience things because of how excited I am to go. I want to feel the joy I had when I booked them. I want the time I spend with people to be quality time. For them to get the best version of me because they deserve it and I deserve to feel well in myself. There’s only so much you can take before you just break and your body gives out. You can’t stay in fight or flight forever. That’s no way to live. I’m growing tired of masking, I’ve done it so much over the years. I want to allow people to get close to me, close enough to see all the parts of me even the slightly broken ones. Not just turn up to social events and switch on a version of me that is digestible. For people to see me, to feel that they understand, support and love me for everything I am.

Over the years I have dealt with different mental health problems, and I have also learnt some great coping mechanisms along the way. There are so many other factors that come with helping to maintain a good mental state. Although coping skills are great I understand in the moment just how overwhelming it still can feel. So I wanted to collate some tips and tricks along with areas I think have helped me get back to a more centred brain. Hopefully, they help you to connect back to yourself and remind you that you’re not alone, you deserve support and to live a fulfilling life. As Matt Haig said…

‘Mental health isn’t something that we can just clear up once and for all, but more of a garden that needs nurturing for as long as we live’

Food

Food helps influence our mental health in lots of different ways. It supports brain health, improves gut health, concentration, sleep and also produces neurotransmitters – dopamine and serotonin. Since the beginning of 2024, my relationship with food has unfortunately negatively declined. I’ve found that when I’m anxious which at the minute tends to be around social events, it affects my eating. I would feel so anxious and nauseous but fine after a few drinks and almost back to baseline. Since I’ve started drinking again this has become a little bit of a new normal. As much as I’ve welcomed mindful drinking back into my life, I’m aware of how negative this ‘routine’ is. In the lead-up to my bad mental health episode, I was starting to spiral about food. During it, I was having night terrors and waking up to be sick in the night. After researching more into the links with anxiety and nausea I see how much they go hand in hand. When our body experiences anxiety it is no longer prioritising digestion, hence why we get anxiety nausea. Our gut is linked so heavily with our brains and when we feel anxious it tends to go straight to our bellies. This is why it’s so important to fill ourselves with good foods that fuel us and try to make eating an enjoyable wonderful experience. So remember eating out with friends is a gift, eating delicious foods is a blessing and your body deserves nutrients.

Tips & Tricks:

• Take it slow and focus on how this food is fuelling your body, you deserve to eat it.
• Even if you can only manage to eat small bites, that is fine.
• Ginger, peppermint and sour sweets help wonders with anxiety-induced nausea.
• If you are already feeling anxious, avoid caffeine, alcohol and focus on eating first.
• This might be hard at first but don’t avoid situations where you are eating out, anxiety will more than likely grow around it.
• Believe in your body, you are not unwell and your anxiety is lying to you. This will pass.

Sleep

As I get older I’m realising more and more how sleep can impact our mental states. Gone are the days when I could run on a few hours of sleep, moving from function to function. Don’t get me wrong I’m glad those days existed, being so carefree whilst I could, but that’s not my reality anymore. If I have a late night or an event I try to make sure that before and after I prioritise my sleep, in turn putting my brain in the best place to deal with it. Sleep is one of the most important things that influences how my body and mind will feel through the week and I’m super guilty of neglecting it. In this age of technology, it is so normal to be scrolling on our phones just before bed. I am trying to implement not going on my phone an hour before bed, reading instead and allowing my mind to fully switch off. Supplements are something that has had a hugely positive impact on me. Since taking Valerian root I have definitely noticed decreases in anxiety and deeper sleep in return. I have also recently been limiting my caffeine and switching to a Chamomile tea with a little sugar if needed. Your mind can go downhill so quickly when you are not placing enough importance on sleep. So remember to prioritise those z’s and your rest.

Tips & Tricks:

• Make sure you get enough sleep before travelling – anxiety and nausea thrive in situations like this.
• If you have late events give your body time to decompress and prepare yourself beforehand. 
• Experiment with supplements and natural remedies – they work more than you realise.
• Allow your body to rest when it needs to, you are not less productive for having a lie in.
• Create a positive nighttime routine and allow yourself to really indulge in it. 
• Listen to your body and what it needs. Oftentimes we cover up symptoms when all we need is a good deep night’s sleep.

Movement

Physical activity, Exercise, Sports, Movement. One of the most important things that contributes to not only a healthy body but a healthy mind. It comes in so many shapes and sizes, exercising at the gym, playing a sport you love or even just dancing with friends on the weekend. The release of dopamine and serotonin that comes from being active within your body is truly unmatched. The times when I have lacked exercise and sport in my life are often the times when my mental state has started to decline. Skating, Running, Swimming, and Dancing are just a few of the movements that leave me feeling fulfilled in body and mind. I know how hard it can be when you feel depressed, anxious or not mentally stable to pull yourself up and be active. I’ve found that it’s all about finding the movement that feels best for you. Going to the gym might not work for you, but maybe long walks on a Sunday do. Each activity fuels a different purpose in my life. I reconnect with my younger self when I swim, I feel so much joy when I skate, I feel completely free when I dance and my mind goes silent when I run. It doesn’t matter what it is moving your body can help you reconnect with yourself in the best way. So find what works for you in the place that you’re at and get your body moving, you deserve it. 

Tricks & Tips:

• Take it slow at first – just a walk down the road can help you clear your mind. 
• Don’t worry about what you look like, you don’t have to be a perfect gym girl to be active. 
• Exercise mimics the body’s responses to anxiety and panic attacks, so if you don’t feel good pushing yourself to move can help more than staying still.
• Move your body to feel good not to change yourself, when you feel good about yourself you glow from the inside. 
• Find the sporting activity that makes you the happiest, and pursue that. You don’t have to be perfect at it to enjoy it.
• Remember exercise can fuel hunger, so it’s important to fuel your body in return.

Words

I have loved words ever since I was little. This might sound strange but I have. When I was younger my mum got me a big set of encyclopaedia books on different countries, and I can remember finding so much joy in reading them. I loved the different ways to describe places, the emotions behind them and the beauty of it. Growing up and throughout education I have found it quite hard to articulate myself in person. Now working in Advertising where a lot of people didn’t go to state school, I have become increasingly conscious that I don’t sound the same as others. So being able to express myself on paper, and use my words to form emotions and feelings that can be translated across the page to other people, has always been so special to me. This has then turned into writing, journaling and reading throughout my adult life. With journaling, I have realised how important it is to just write for yourself. Getting any feeling onto paper and leaving the performative thoughts to the side. It doesn’t matter if it makes sense or if you think you are a good writer or not, just putting words to paper can be so therapeutic. In the past, I have suffered from perfectionism in my writing, even in journaling. Until a friend of mine reminded me that I am first and foremost writing for myself, it doesn’t matter if it’s a little messy or chaotic. That is life, it’s real and that’s the most important thing. So whether it’s a book you’ve been meaning to read or your empty notebook, indulge in the world of words, it’s time well spent.

Tips & Tricks:

• If you are feeling overstimulated try journaling some thought patterns it can help unbind your mind.
• When struggling to communicate with others, try and communicate with yourself first. When you know yourself, you are more at peace with others.
• Reading is one of the most underrated forms of therapy. 
• Writing connects and makes the world go round – use it. 
• It’s a blessing to be able to read other people’s words – GET THAT BOOK.

Connection

Community is one of the most important things in this world and it is paramount to your mental health to cultivate a positive one around you. I know how hard it can be when you’re in the depths of a bad mental health episode to reach out to yours. If you’re like me you might try and weather the storm yourself. Respond ‘Yeah all good’ to the how are you questions and keep that brave face up. As I’m getting older I’m learning how important it is to allow yourself to be seen by people when you’re not feeling your best. When I was first dating my ex-girlfriend there were a few times I went to cancel coming round hers just to chill, due to not feeling great mentally. She explained that she wants to be there for me and I don’t have to be feeling 100% to see her. Good or bad she wanted to be there for me, and it’s something that’s stuck with me. It is okay to lean on the people closest to you and release the cards you keep so close to your chest. There is no audience to perform for, not a checkbox to be ticked. You are not a performer, you don’t have to always be perfect and on top form. As someone who is ultra-independent and has been since I was little, I’m learning every day the importance of those true connections you can rely on, however fleeting they are. It’s okay to have down days and vulnerable moments and you deserve to show those to the people closest to you. Show up as you are.

Tips & Tricks:

• Talking about how you feel or what has happened to you will save you. 
• Treasure your loved ones around you whilst they’re right in front of you.
• Confiding in others is often braver than weathering the storm alone.
• Tough times reveal those willing to stand with you through them.
• Allow connections to flow through your life freely, just because they might not last forever doesn’t make them any less important.

Thankfulness

When life gets heavy and your mental health is suffering, it can be so difficult to feel thankful. Something that has helped me is setting goals, however small, however big, whether it’s finally tidying your room or deciding to make a plan to move cities. Allowing yourself to celebrate your small wins and be thankful for achievements in your life however ordinary they feel. So even if you don’t feel grateful try to be thankful for all the little moments when you are living out your everyday life. A quote came onto my feed the other day that read ‘When things feel tough water and bread is only one step away from becoming tea and toast’. These little gifts are in our everyday life, of course, they sit in the big achievements and events, but they’re also right there in the little moments. Perspective is something that can help a lot with this. Instead of thinking I have to walk to the station this morning in the horrible cold, I think I am thankful that my legs work, I can use them and I have a warm home to come back to. This year a lot of my plans have changed and I am at the crossroads of my life again. I’m learning to let this excite me, how lucky am I that I have nothing holding me back, this big wide world is there open for me with endless possibilities. I’m using this period of time to build myself up, reflect and think to the future where my next steps lie. How lucky am I that I have a safe space to do all of this.

Tips & Tricks:

• Being grateful for the little things is just as if not more important than the big things.
• Nothing works without gratitude.
• Take time to reflect on how incredible it is for you to even be here alive. 
• I know it’s hard but writing down one thing you are thankful for every morning.
• Indulge in our ordinary routine and find pleasure within it.
• You won’t always feel grateful so try and be thankful for one thing daily – even if it is your morning cup of tea. 

Despite having to cancel some trips and plans this summer, whilst also moving several things to 2025, I can look back and know that I made the best decision for myself at the time. After speaking with a mental health practitioner and my doctor, I have started taking herbal tablets to calm the anxiety I was experiencing, whilst also looking into longer-term options. I did the same for depression early this year and I know how helpful it can be to have that holding hand. Despite this and having some nerves and anxiety around it, I’m proud to say I made it to a little girls’ weekend in Spain last month. I have also started to plan more for the future and am getting back out there. Realising it’s okay if you have to take a break from doing something you love as I did with travelling for your mental state, just know it will always be waiting there for you. So don’t feel guilty for having to prioritise your well-being. This life is full of vast experiences and moments, and by looking after yourself you’ll be in a better state of mind to enjoy and experience them fully. 

Over the last few months, I have tried to get that childlike wonder back into my life. As we get older we are so focused on monetizing our talents and hobbies. It’s so important to continue to pursue these things for the joy of them, just like we did when we were younger. I’ve felt so connected to my inner child at the moment. Looking back at old photos I get a wave of sadness for some of the things she’ll go through but happiness in knowing she’s always with me. I want to keep her safe and happy. I want her to be proud of me, live a life that feels true to her and me. For me to always enjoy the simple things like she did; dance, love and enjoy life. To stand up for us, take up space, speak out, ask for help if we need it and feel supported in return. Go back to basics and never lose what made her happy, to never lose that childhood glee. Keep hold of our personalities and never lose her or me. 

In life I always try to look for reasoning in everything, it can be a blessing and a curse. Even if it’s just a little change within me, I look to every experience as a lesson that happened to teach me something. This can feel heavier when the experience is filled with pain. Sometimes those hard things just happen for no reason or rhyme and all you can do is continue to move forward the best way you know how. Allowing the beauty and pain in your life to just be, not fighting it but flowing with it. It is a blessing to feel through the good and the bad, it all makes up our lives. Everything comes in waves, it wouldn’t be life without it and we wouldn’t be us without them. It’s difficult though to not look back with regrets and a wish to change things. Just remember that you’re only human, this is our first time living, and we are all still figuring it out. I hope you know that you are more than your mistakes. You are more than your worries. You are more than your bad days. 

I’m proud to be me, flaws and all. I want to show up despite them every day. To continue putting my best foot forward, and try to live life fully. Holding my loved ones close, appreciating what I have whilst I have it. Not dwelling on 5 or 10 years from now, but taking my present moment and making it as wonderful as I can. Because that is truly all we have in this life. Embracing through the good and bad everything the human experience has to offer us.